Tom Tate8/1/2016
APD
I know prayer is talking with God. I know prayer is the source of my being. I know prayer works. Then why is it I can do everything, but pray when I'm praying? I tried saying them in my head, where a lot of things get lost. I've tried saying them out loud, which only means whatever I'm saying is just louder. I've tried writing them down, but secretly have a to do list next to my journal, thinking God doesn't see. I tried praying in the car as everywhere I go I have a 20-minute drive but, I couldn't even tell you how I got to where I was going let alone anything about my prayer. Try as I may, my prayers are a little more like an APD (Attention Prayer Deficiency.) Now, this is not a term you will find in a medical journal -- for now anyway.
A gift I have from God is organizing, but sometimes I feel it is a curse. On rare occasions, and I do mean rare, my brain will actually focus just on my prayers, but for most of the time they go something like this:
|
PRAYER |
WHAT I'M REALLY SAYING |
|
Thank you for my children |
Destini has a concert tonight at 7:00. Dustin needs his track suit clean. Damon has a basketball game out of town on Friday. Homework needs to be done. |
|
Thank you for our food |
When I get groceries I need bread, milk, eggs, cereal, hamburger meat. Hang on God while I write this down. |
|
Thank you for my husband |
He's working late, so I need a backup plan to get the kids where they need to go. Oh, oh, I forgot to get stuff for his lunch. Let me put that on my list. |
|
Help the church to grow in number, knowledge and love for you |
I need to get craft supplies for my Sunday school class, so I'll stop at the store after I get groceries. There's a potluck this Sunday. Wonder if I can pull off spaghetti again? |
|
Thank you for all you've given us |
The car needs an oil change. I need to clean the bathrooms. Did I pick up the shower cleaner the last time I was at the store? The grass needs to be cut. |
|
Thank you for the day |
What day is this? |
|
Forgive me for feeling ill towards others |
I can't believe she did that to me. Just wait until I see her again. You know a little zap to her wouldn't hurt. |
|
In your name Amen |
I'm out of here. Now, where's my "to do list?" |
Life happens. Distractions happen. It is trying to determine if the distractions are ones we can't help or ones we make ourselves. For me, they are usually ones I make myself because I have overloaded my brain. My intentions are good, but I can miss the point of where my focus should be. I could be a Mary or I could be a Martha as in Luke 10:38-41.
Sometimes, I am so overwhelmed from the distractions that I will lay in bed and just ask God to hold me. I want the distractions to stop so I can spend time with him. The words in Romans 8:26-27 are a comfort for me. For a short time, I feel his arms around me, making everything stop. I love those moments.
A dear friend, Nancy Combs gave me a book, "When God Winks at You," by Squire Rushnell, which I thoroughly enjoyed reading. It is those little winks from God that reassures me he hears my prayers no matter how I'm doing them. In the month of July, I write this like it is just one month, but my brain is on overload being a co-director for a triathlon. But through all of this, God takes care of me. He truly knows what I need before I ask. While running one day, God winked to remind me of a sponsor I forgot. While biking the next day God winked to helped me find an email of a volunteer I had misplaced. It is these little things that God takes care of for me that make me want to be with him more. He hears my heartfelt prayers. He hears my mini prayers. He hears my frustrated prayers. He hears whatever you want to call them prayers. He has my back, because he has my heart in his hands.
I have accepted the fact that I won't ever focus on my prayers 100% all the time, but my goal is to do it more. Luckily for me God has GAPO (God Answers Prayers Order.) NOW, that should be in the medical journal.
"When you can't put your prayer into words, God hears your heart."
This week try to find at least 5 bible passages about prayer in the Old Testament and 5 bible passages in the New Testament.
©Melinda Sutherland 8/1/16
