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Six Reasons Given For A A Happy Marriage

            The vast majority in this nation is ignoring the teaching of God’s word on the subject of marriage, divorce, and remarriage. Jesus concluded His teaching on this subject by saying, “Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6).

            This leads us to the question, “Why do so many marriages fail?” There are many reasons to be given, but the bottom line is found in the fact that couples violate some vital and important principles.

            There is a news item that is quoted in the East Hills News bulletin, Pulaski, Tennessee, that is very impressive: “Dillon and Patty Bayes from the Talladega Church of Christ in Talledega, Alabama, won the Happy Marriage Contest in the June, 1996, issue of Good Housekeeping. They came in first out of 12,000 entries. They gave six reasons for the success in their 27 years of marriage. I would like to relate to these in this article:

We gave......When we WANTED to receive.

            The marriage that pleases God and stays together is a giving relationship. Those who enter marriage only for what they can receive are in for much heartache. Jesus is quoted as saying: `”It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35), and this principle fully applies to marriage. The ONLY way to receive in marriage is to give. In marriage, “We make a living by what we GET—we make a life by what we GIVE!”

            Love (that God approves) involves giving to show concern for the one loved. Among the list of things that Paul says that love will not do, he writes that love “does not seek its own” (1 Cor. 13:5). In a happy marriage, love has two arms. One that reaches FROM you, and one that reaches back TO you!

We served......When we WANTED to feast.

            Many who enter marriage may be among those who grew up with loving and caring parents. They were properly fed, clothed, schooled, and guarded from harm. Perhaps more than they realized, they were served by a loving family. However, when it came time to enter marriage, they may have expected this special serving to be continued. Therefore, when each person in the relationship demanded to be served, there were serious conflicts.

            The rule given by the Bayes places serving above feasting. They evidently laid aside selfishness, to meet the needs of each other. The apostle Paul gives this principle in facing the problems of his day that should be applied to marriage. “Let no one seek his own, but each one the other's well-being” (1 Corinthians 10:24).

We listened......When we WANTED to talk.

            A happy marriage involves a two-way conversation, because true feelings must be both felt and expressed. In life, and especially in marriage, it is more enjoyable to talk than to listen. We generally prefer to broadcast rather than to tune in. However, in a happy marriage, a couple learns that there is a time to keep silent, and a time to speak” (Eccl. 3:7). “let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath” (James 1:19).

We submitted......When we WANTED to reign.

            There are far too many who enter marriage with the attitude, “I want to reign—I want to have my way!” However, when this kind of attitude is pursued, all happiness is threatened. Since the Bible assigns husbands the head of the wife, and the wives submission (Eph. 5:23), some husbands consider this a license to reign. This idea is far from the truth! For only two verses further, Paul calls upon husbands to love their wives enough to die for them (vs. 25). Thus, even in his role of leadership, he will seek what is best to fulfill her needs. The true husband will love his wife as he loves his own body (vs. 28).

We forgave......When we WANTED to remember.

            One of the most beautiful pictures in the Bible is forgiveness. One of the lovely attributes of the cross is forgiveness. In the close relationship of marriage, it is often difficult to forgive. Even though a couple may say to each other, “I forgive you,” the future may prove otherwise.” For in times of heated arguments, old wounds may be opened. When we seek forgiveness from God, we want Him to forgive us forever. Why can’t we learn to forgive in the same way? Even in marriage, we must forgive the way we want to be forgiven. We need to follow the rule that God laid down for His new covenant: “For I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more” (Jeremiah 31:34).

We stayed......When we WANTED to leave.

            Some of us can remember when marriage was considered to be a relationship to be honored “So long as you both shall live.” That marriage was to endure “for better of for worse.” However, many today do not enter marriage with this kind of commitment. They seem to honor the “for better,” but when the “for worse” comes, they are gone. God’s word calls upon all married couples to leave father and mother and to stay! There is no way to avoid some rough roads in marriage, but all can make every effort to stay until the roads become smoother.

            The summation of all six of these rules is that this couple was not selfish. When a married couple gives all they have to please God and each other, happiness can be found. —BBBristow