A. The ability to speak and understand words leads us to some of our greatest blessings and our worst curses.
1. It is through words that we come to know God and His blessed will for us. By these same words, we share this knowledge with others and bless them.
2. It is also through words that we may lie, curse, gossip, blaspheme, insult, slander, and say many other wicked things.
3. As James said, "My brethren, these things ought not be this way” (Jas. 3:10).
B. In this lesson from the Proverbs, we will find wisdom from God to instruct us in the use of words.
1. We desperately need to exercise wisdom in this matter, for words are very powerful, and the average person utters thousands of words every day.
2. The best instruction for the use of words comes from the God who gave us the ability to speak.
II. TOP TEN PROVERBS FOR THE USE OF WORDS
A. Consider these ten passages from the Proverbs that give instructions on the use of words.
1. "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” (Prov. 18:21)
a. This proverb defines the power of words in terms of life and death.
i. Those who have proclaimed, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” foolishly disrespect the effect of words on people.
ii. A good, literal example of this power is that of Pilate, who by his words could permit Jesus to live or could send Him to the cross (John 19:10).
iii. Of course, the words of Jesus give eternal life to all believers (John 6:63).
b. Notice the benefits for those who love the power of the tongue.
i. They will "eat its fruit.” To understand this, we must consider the previous verse: "With the fruit of a man’s mouth his stomach will be satisfied; he will be satisfied with the product of his lips” (Prov. 18:20).
ii. This means that one who appreciates and respects ("loves”) the power of his words will use words in the right way for his own benefit.
2. "When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise.” (Prov. 10:19)
a. This proverb warns us against talking too much.
i. James warned of the many dangers of the tongue, for he described it as a cause of stumbling, a fire, a world of iniquity, and impossible to tame (Jas. 3:1-12).
ii. Those who use the tongue to excess are bound to stumble in something they say due to ignorance, foolishness, anger, or some other unseemly trait that is manifested through words.
b. Therefore, it is wise to use few words, for this practice reduces the chances of sin.
i. Jesus taught us to be brief in our communication, saying, "But let your statement be, ‘Yes, yes’ or ‘No, no’; anything beyond these is of evil” (Matt. 5:37).
ii. While the tongue can never be tamed so that we never have to be concerned for what we say, but it can be controlled when we choose to restrain our words.
3. "He who gives an answer before he hears, it is folly and shame to him.” (Prov. 18:13)
a. This proverb warns us not to speak too soon.
i. Many people have spoken foolish words about a subject before they knew enough to give an valid opinion. Such talk is shameful and embarrassing.
ii. Once something is spoken, it cannot be retracted. One may repent, apologize, or otherwise atone for a foolish statement, but its damage may be irreversible and its folly unforgettable.
b. James gave a similar warning: "But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger…” (Jas. 1:19).
4. "He who restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is considered prudent.” (Prov. 17:27-28)
a. Careful, controlled speech is a sign of knowledge and understanding.
i. A knowledgeable, understanding person does not overreact, spout-off at the mouth, or even say everything that he thinks.
ii. Instead, he restrains his words and is slow to speak and slow to anger.
b. Silence is often interpreted as wisdom, even among fools.
i. An old saying states, "Speech is silver, and silence is golden.”
ii. A fool is not completely foolish if he knows enough to keep his mouth shut.
5. "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Prov. 15:1)
a. This proverbs admonishes us to use gentle speech.
i. Communication is more than just the content of the words we say. It is also the way in which we say words or the particular words we choose to use.
ii. Useful truth is often communicated so harshly that it is rejected by the hearers. Let us therefore offer a gentle delivery in order to promote a good reception.
b. This message is similar to that of Ephesians 4:29 – "Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.”
6. "Lying lips are an abomination to the LORD, but those who deal faithfully are His delight.” (Prov. 12:22)
a. Those who lie are disgusting to God, for He loves truth and cannot lie (Heb. 6:18).
b. However, God delights in those who are like Him in dealing faithfully with others.
7. "For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, contention quiets down.” (Prov. 26:20)
a. To gossip (whisper) is to secretly speak evil of another. It is the same as slander, but it is done privately rather than in the open.
b. By this figure, gossip is the fuel for contention’s fire. Without the fuel, the fire goes out.
8. "He who rebukes a man will afterward find more favor than he who flatters with the tongue.” (Prov. 28:23)
a. Flattery is excessive praise given to manipulate. It comes from the heart of a deceiver.
b. According to this proverb, the passage of time reveals the goodness of rebuke and the evil of flattery. Rebukes are usually given with good intentions, but flattery is never sincere.
9. "There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (Prov. 12:18)
a. Rash speaking is almost always hurtful to someone, for it is usually thoughtless or angry.
b. However, a wise man speaks words that bring comfort and healing rather than injury.
10. "In the mouth of the foolish is a rod for his back, but the lips of the wise will protect them.” (Prov. 14:3)
a. This proverb contrasts the results of fool’s words versus the words of the wise. Fools will be punished for their evil talk, but the wise will benefit for their righteous words.
b. The Lord declared that we will be judged by our words in Matthew 12:36-37 – "But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”
B. Other proverbs to consider are:
1. Regarding wise and foolish talk – 15:2, 7; 16:23; 18:6-7; 19:1; 23:15-16
2. Regarding righteous and wicked talk – 10:20-21, 31-32; 11:11; 12:13-14; 13:2; 15:28; 17:4
3. Regarding appropriate speech – 15:23; 16:21, 24; 25:11; 27:14
4. Regarding silence – 11:12; 12:23; 13:3; 21:23
5. Regarding control of the tongue – 17:27; 25:15
6. Regarding flattery – 26:28; 29:5
7. Regarding slander and gossip – 10:18; 11:13; 16:28; 17:9; 18:8; 20:19; 26:22
8. Regarding hurtful talk – 16:27; 25:23; 26:2
9. Regarding lying – 12:19; 15:4; 17:20; 19:5, 22; 21:6
III. CONCLUSION
A. The use of words is one of the primary subjects in the book of Proverbs. The number of proverbs devoted to this subject indicate just how important this topic is.
B. The next lesson from the Proverbs will be "Persons and Relationships.”