A.In Mark 9:50, the Lord said, "Salt is good; but if the salt becomes unsalty, with what will you make it salty again? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with one another.”
B.When strife divides brother against brother, the church loses its saltiness.Therefore, let us consider how to resolve our differences according to the Scriptures so that we may be at peace with one another.
II.BE RECONCILED TO YOUR BROTHER
A.If you know that a brother has something against you, then you must go to him and be reconciled according to Matthew 5:21-24.
1.Verses 21 and 22 are an indictment against anger between brothers, saying that it is tantamount to murder (see 1John 3:15).
2.Verses 23 and 24 show that such anger, hate, and division are a hindrance to worship, so it must be resolved before worship can be offered effectively.
3.Notice that you are to go directly to the affected brother and not to anyone else.There is to be no gossiping, murmuring, or speaking against one another (Prov. 20:19; 26:20; Jas. 4:11; 5:9).
B.If your brother sins, then you must go to him according to the pattern of Matthew 18:15-17.
1.The Lord’s directions on this matter could not be clearer: "If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother.But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed.If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.”
2.Notice that you are to go directly to the affected brother first and not to anyone else.There is to be no gossiping, murmuring, or speaking against one another (Prov. 20:19; 26:20; Jas. 4:11; 5:9).
3.Even elders are to be approached in this way.Notice 1Timothy 5:19-20:
Do not receive an accusation against an elder except on the basis of two or three witnesses.Those who continue in sin, rebuke in the presence of all, so that the rest also will be fearful of sinning.
4.Mercy must be abundant.If at any point a sinful brother repents, then he must be forgiven.Notice Christ’s words in Luke 17:3-4 – "Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.”
C.Be careful that you follow these directions and that your brothers do as well.
1.Much strife and division is stirred up by brothers who do not follow these instructions of the Lord.
2.Be careful not be carried away by the talk of such brothers.Notice Romans 16:17-18:
Now I urge you, brethren, keep your eye on those who cause dissensions and hindrances contrary to the teaching which you learned, and turn away from them.For such men are slaves, not of our Lord Christ but of their own appetites; and by their smooth and flattering speech they deceive the hearts of the unsuspecting.
III.IN A SPIRIT OF GENTLENESS
A.When attempting to reconcile with a brother, approach him with gentleness and love.
1.A sinful brother is to be approached with an attitude of meekness and humility.See Galatians 6:1 – "Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted.”
2.Such issues are to be handled with love as in a family.Notice 1Timothy 5:1-2 – "Do not sharply rebuke an older man, but rather appeal to him as a father, to the younger men as brothers,the older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters, in all purity.”
B.Be patient and forgiving when wronged by a brother.
1.When you attempt to reprove and correct a sinful brother, put on the traits of a bond-servant of Christ as given in 2Timothy 2:24-26 – "The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will.”
2.If the matter is a mere difference of opinion or a personal conflict, usually, it is best to simply defer to your brother (Eph. 5:21; Phil. 2:3-4).Such conflicts often destroy the fellowship between brothers who otherwise agree on every matter of faith and doctrine.A brother with great faith and love will simply suffer the wrong for the sake of peace within the church (1Cor. 6:7).
C.Do not rebuke a brother before others unless or until the situation warrants it.
1.In the Lord’s instructions from Matthew 18:15-17 and 1Timothy 5:19-20, open rebuke before the church is the last step before fellowship is severed.It is truly a last resort.
2.A possible exception is when a problem has already advanced to the point that many others are also caught up in a brother’s sin.
a.An example of this is in Galatians 2:11-14 when Paul opposed Peter to his face before the church because he stood condemned for his conduct among the brethren.
i.Peter’s hypocrisy had carried away Barnabas and others so that the rebuke needed to be made in the presence of all the church at Antioch.
ii.This was not merely a difference of opinion or a personal issue, for Peter and his fellow Jews "were not straightforward about the truth of the gospel.”
b.Another example is in 1Corinthians 5:1-8 when Paul commanded that the assembled church at Corinth should deliver a brother to Satan.
i.The church’s acceptance of this brother’s gross immorality had corrupted the whole church.Paul described the sin as a little leaven that leavened the whole lump of dough.
ii.In this case, the discipline needed to take place in the presence of the whole church because they were all caught up in the sin.
IV.BE WILLING TO RECEIVE CORRECTION
A.If a brother comes to you with an accusation of sin, then receive him with patience, humility, and love.
1.Employ the advice of James 1:19 – "Be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger.”
2.Assume the best about your brother’s intentions, and be thankful for his concern.Consider Proverbs 27:6 – "Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.”
3.If your brother is correct in his accusation against you, then repent and be thankful for him.If he is mistaken, then explain his error with courtesy and respect.In any case, always abide by the Scriptures.
B.Those who will not receive correction are fools according to the Scriptures.
1.The Proverbs reveal that a major difference between a wise man and a fool is the willingness to accept correction (3:1-2; 9:7-9; 10:8; 12:15; 13:1, 13; 15:31; 17:10; 19:16, 20, 25, 27; 23:9; 29:1).
2.Sinful brothers who refuse to listen to rebuke often do great harm to the church.If not handled properly and carefully, many precious souls will likely suffer.
V.CONCLUSION
A.One of the greatest commandments of Scripture is found in the simple direction of Romans 12:8 – "If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.”
B.Always with the Bible as our guide, let us "pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another” (Rom. 14:19).
