II. TOP TEN PROVERBS FOR PERSONS AND RELATIONSHIPS
A. Consider these ten passages from the Proverbs regarding persons and relationships.
1. "Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Prov. 22:6)
a. This proverb addresses a parent’s relationship with a child.
i. It is solely parents’ responsibility to train a child in the ways of God. It may be that this proverb is referring to training a child according to his aptitude, but certainly God expects parents to guide their children in the ways that are right.
ii. This responsibility belongs to both parents, for fathers are to bring up children in "the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4), and mothers are to love their children (Tit. 2:4-5) and bring them up (1Tim. 5:10).
b. A significant part of that training is discipline, which is evident by the number of proverbs that deal with the subject (Prov. 13:24; 15:5; 19:18; 22:15; 23:13-14; 29:15, 17).
2. "Hear, my son, your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching; indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head and ornaments about your neck.” (Prov. 1:8-9)
a. The other side of the parent-child relationship is that a child must learn from his parents and retain their instructions throughout life.
i. Many of the Proverbs are written as the advice of a father to a son. If the wise advice of both parents is embraced by the son, then he will be blessed for it.
ii. These instructions call upon adults to remember their parents’ instructions. The value of parents’ teachings extends far beyond childhood.
b. Of course, this proverb assumes that parents are carrying out their God-given responsibility to teach their own children (Deut. 6:4-9; Ps. 127:3-5; see #1 above).
3. "A wise son makes a father glad, but a foolish son is a grief to his mother.” (Prov. 10:1)
a. This proverb describes the effect that a child has upon his parents.
i. Some of the greatest joys and sorrows in the lives of parents are due to children.
ii. The joy of a parent was expressed well by John (although he wrote of spiritual relationships) when he wrote, "I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth” (3John 4).
iii. The sorrow of a parent is expressed in Proverbs 17:21 ("He who sires a fool does so to his sorrow, and the father of a fool has no joy”) and Proverbs 17:25 ( "A foolish son is a grief to his father and bitterness to her who bore him”).
b. A son’s conduct affects his parents because he is a reflection of them. When he behaves honorably, they receive honor, and when he behaves shamefully, they receive shame.
4. "He who robs his father or his mother and says, ‘It is not a transgression,’ is the companion of a man who destroys.” (Prov. 28:24)
a. This proverb addresses a common sin among Americans today, which is that of adult sons and daughters taking from their parents with a sense of entitlement.
i. Such selfish children take advantage of the kind and loving sensibilities of their parents and do to their parents that which they would not do to others.
ii. The children’s sense of entitlement prevents them from perceiving their sin. Even though they rob their parents and take that which is not theirs, they do not perceive it as robbery because they believe they have the right to do so.
b. This is the result of men and women dishonoring their parents.
i. One of the foremost commandments of God to Israel was, "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you” (Ex. 20:12; repeated in Eph. 6:2-3). Though this was part of Israel’s law, it reflects God’s expectations for all people.
ii. Jesus rebuked the Jews who were robbing their parents in Matthew 15:3-6.
5. "Grandchildren are the crown of old men, and the glory of sons is their fathers.” (Prov. 17:6)
a. Grandchildren are not like a crown in the regal sense of the word, but rather in the sense of an award (compare to "crown” in 1Cor. 9:25; 2Tim. 4:7-8). Grandchildren are awards of achievement and success for grandparents.
b. The second part of this proverb describes the effect of a father upon his son.
i. For a father to be the glory of his son requires for the father to be the object of the son’s praise and honor.
ii. It is a great blessing for a child to have a father who is noble and honorable.
6. "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones.” (Prov. 12:4)
a. This proverb describes two different types of wives and their effects upon their husbands.
i. In the case of an excellent wife, the figure of a crown is again used to indicate an award. An excellent wife rewards her husband every day (see Prov. 31:10-31).
ii. On the other hand, the figure of rottenness of the bones is used to describe a shameful wife. Such a woman is like a deep cancer to her husband.
b. These outcomes show why it is so important to be wise when choosing a spouse. When a man chooses a wife, he is choosing a crown or rottenness in his bones.
c. Note: It may seem that there are few proverbs concerning husbands, but in truth every proverb that address the behavior of men is also addressing the behavior of husbands.
7. "He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” (Prov. 13:20)
a. This proverb shows that the influence of a person’s companions is significant.
i. Wisdom is contagious, but so is foolishness. Wise companions lead one to wisdom, but foolish companions lead one to a share in the punishment of fools.
ii. One cannot have fellowship with fools and escape unscathed. "Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company corrupts good morals’” (1Cor. 15:33).
b. The truth contained in this proverb should provoke us to consider the influence of our own companions (including the virtual companions we have on TV, radio, internet, etc.).
8. "A man of too many friends comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” (Prov. 18:24)
a. One who has too many friends probably has no real friends to help him in time of need.
b. The second part of this proverb shows that it is better to have one true friend that to have many empty acquaintances. As Proverbs 17:17 says, "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
9. "A servant who acts wisely will rule over a son who acts shamefully, and will share in the inheritance among brothers.” (Prov. 17:2)
a. This proverb describes how a master will esteem a wise servant as his own son.
b. Of course, servants of Christ will receive a reward from Christ (Eph. 6:5-8; Col. 3:22-25). That reward is "an inheritance which is imperishable and undefiled and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for you” (1Pet. 1:4)
10. "Let your foot rarely be in your neighbor’s house, or he will become weary of you and hate you.” (Prov. 25:17)
a. This proverb advises us not to wear out our welcome with neighbors.
b. Certainly, there is a time to go to a neighbor, whether it is to help him or to seek help from him (Prov. 27:10), but an overbearing, constant presence will ruin the relationship.
B. Other proverbs to consider are:
1. Regarding parents and children – 11:29; 15:20; 19:26; 20:20; 23:22-25
2. Regarding wives – 11:22; 14:1; 18:22; 19:13-14; 21:9, 19; 25:24; 27:15-16
3. Regarding friends and companions – 12:26; 14:7; 24:1-2; 27:8-10; 29:24
III. CONCLUSION
A. Each of these topical lessons from the Proverbs barely scratches the surface of all the Proverbs say on the given topics. Certainly, there is much more to be learned regarding persons and relationships.
B. The next lesson from the Proverbs will be "Business and Money.”
