Welcome to the
Eastside Church of Christ
Talking Money With Your Honey
Talking
Money With Your Honey
Getting married goes far beyond the bonding of hearts
and souls. It's also the blending of breakfast cereals, bath mats and, as
unromantic as it sounds, bank accounts and debts. That's where the "for
richer or for poorer" part of your vows comes in. Many couples avoid the
subject, believing that a partner is fiscally sound (considering the way you
two have wined and dined!) or would have alluded to that $70,000 school loan
he's shouldering.
You may feel like you know everything about that perfect person beside you,
when in reality you only know what he or she has told you plus the answers to
questions you've thought to ask. That leaves a lot of gray area, especially
when it comes to finances. Sure, no one likes to talk about money, but consider
this: Money is the number one reason couples fight and is
the leading cause of divorce.
Now that we've gotten that out of the way, know this: Communication is the only
way to make sure your money burn doesn't turn into a marriage buster. Now's the
time to grab your partner and lay all your cards on the table.
START TALKING NOW!
It's important to get comfortable conversing about money. For some people, this
isn't easy, especially if money was never discussed in their home growing up.
Be sensitive and patient, but try to get the dialogue going as soon as
possible. A lot of couples don't talk about money until they get married. If
you haven't had a conversation about debt and student loans, be prepared to be
surprised.
ASSESS YOUR STYLES
Try to get a sense of each other's spending habits. Are you a penny pincher and
savvy saver? Does your partner blow each paycheck buying the latest fashions?
It's said that opposites attract, but opposite spending styles can spell
trouble. Understanding these differences will help you solve financial issues
(read: compromise) in the future.
CONFESS YOUR SINS
Time to come clean. Pull out your bank and credit card statements, checkbooks, information
on all your assets and debts, any benefit packages you may have from an
employer -- basically, everything and anything related to your current and
future cash flow. A critical factor, but oft overlooked, is your credit rating.
I suggest that each of you order your personal credit report and compare notes.
In fact, I recommend that you get three copies of both, one from each of the
top three credit report companies, to cross-check information. Reports can be
ordered from Experian (www.experian.com) at (888) 397-3742, Equifax
(www.equifax.com) at (800) 685-1111, or TransUnion (www.transunion.com) at
(800) 888-4213. Review them carefully, check for mistakes, and notify a company
of errors as soon as possible.
SURVEY THE DAMAGE
With papers covering every square inch of your living room floor, you're ready
to get down to the nitty-gritty: How much do you owe? How much do you make?
What are your pension funds, stock, life insurance, or real-estate holdings
worth? What are your monthly expenses? What do you pay for health and
disability insurance? Once you're married, you may want t