Our Relationships with One Another

Forgive One Another

  1. INTRODUCTION

    1. In our relationships with one another, offenses sometimes occur.

      1. Some offenses are simply personal conflicts that arise between individuals (Acts 15:36-40).

      2. Other offenses are matters of sin that sever the offenders from spiritual fellowship with the whole church (1Cor. 5:9-13; 1John 1:5-7).

    2. To resolve any offense, we need to exercise forgiveness toward one another.  This vital practice is the subject of the present lesson.

       

  2. FORGIVE AND BE FORGIVEN

    1. The Lord demands that we treat one another with great sympathy.

      1. This is demanded by the Lord's words in Matthew 7:12, where He said, "In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets."

      2. The Lord expects you to deal with your brother or sister as if you were dealing with yourself.  In fact, He says in Matthew 7:1-2:

        1"Do not judge so that you will not be judged.  2For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you."

    2. We must be especially sympathetic toward one another in terms of forgiveness, for if we do not forgive one another, then God will not forgive us.

      1. This message is emphasized repeatedly in the Scriptures. Consider a few passages:

        1. Matthew 6:12 -- "And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors."

        2. Matthew 6:14-15 --14"For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  15But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions."

        3. Matthew 18:35 -- "My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart."

        4. Mark 11:25-26 -- 25"Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions.  26But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your transgressions."

        5. Ephesians 4:32 -- Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

        6. Colossians 3:12-13 -- 12So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; 13bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.

      2. By these words, we understand that a failure to forgive one another will become a barrier to our own salvation, for we cannot be saved unless we are forgiven of our sins by God, and we cannot be forgiven by God unless we forgive one another.

         

  3. THE PROCESS OF FORGIVENESS

    1. In the passages given above, God's forgiveness of us is given as a standard and a pattern to follow as we forgive one another.

      1. This pattern is especially evident in Ephesians 4:32 and Colossians 3:12-13.  Just as we who are Christians have been forgiven by God, so also we are to forgive one another.

      2. Considering this pattern, we see that God's forgiveness of us is abounding and abundant, but it is also conditional.  Our forgiveness of one another is to follow this pattern according to Scripture.

    2. In the likeness of God's forgiveness for us, we have been given a process by which we are to forgive one another of sins.

      1. Jesus gave this process in Matthew 18:15-17:

        15"If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother.  16But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed.  17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector."

        1. Just as God's forgiveness of us is conditional upon repentance (Acts 2:38), so also repentance is necessary for us to forgive one another.  The phrase "if he listens to you" implies that the sinful brother accepts correction and changes his ways.

        2. Notice that this passage does not mention forgiveness explicitly.  Instead, it describes a process by which fellowship can be restored and a brother can be "won."  Forgiveness is implicit in this process as we will see later in 2Corinthians 2:5-8.

        3. If this process fails to restore a sinful brother, then fellowship is severed with him, but this does not mean that we are to carry a grudge against him.

          1. From a personal standpoint, Jesus says, "...forgive, if you have anything against anyone" (Mark 11:25).

          2. Likewise Paul wrote, "Yet do not regard him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother" (2Thess. 3:15).

          3. In other words, although you cannot have fellowship with a brother in sin, you are not to bear any personal animosity toward him.  You must still love him and seek good for him.

        4. Also, notice that this process is for matters of sin.  When the matter is simply a personal conflict or difference of opinion, it is not necessary to sever fellowship or to involve the whole church.

      2. The spirit in which we are to enter this process is given in Galatians 6:1, which says, "Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted."

        1. This instruction is for those who are spiritual, which is defined in the preceding verses as those who bear the fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22-26).  Only those who are Spirit-guided are suitable to restore others who are in sin.

        2. Gentleness is necessary to be effective in this process rather than harshness.

        3. Awareness of one's own weaknesses is also necessary to prevent one from being carried away in temptation. 

      3. When this process is effective in winning a brother, forgiveness must be offered by all who are involved.  Consider the instruction of 2Corinthians 2:5-8:

        5But if any has caused sorrow, he has caused sorrow not to me, but in some degree -- in order not to say too much -- to all of you. 6Sufficient for such a one is this punishment which was inflicted by the majority, 7so that on the contrary you should rather forgive and comfort him, otherwise such a one might be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.  8Wherefore I urge you to reaffirm your love for him.

    3. Just as God is abounding in forgiveness for us, we must also abound in forgiveness for one another.

      1. After Jesus had described the process of forgiveness, He had this exchange with Peter in Matthew 18:21-22:

        21Then Peter came and said to Him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him?  Up to seven times?"  22Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven."

      2. Similarly, Jesus said in Luke 17:3-4:

        3"Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.  4And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, 'I repent,' forgive him."

      3. Thus, there must be no limit to our forgiveness.  Just as God is willing to forgive us as often as we repent, so also we must be willing to forgive one another.

         

  4. CONCLUSION

    1. Our forgiveness toward one another must be abundant, unbiased, and Scriptural.

      1. We must be willing to forgive again and again.

      2. We must not play favorites by forgiving some and not forgiving others.

      3. We must practice forgiveness according to the instructions of God's word.

    2. The bottom line is that if we want God to forgive us, then we must forgive one another.