I. INTRODUCTION
A. David's third-born son was named Absalom, which means "father of peace.”
1. Absalom was born to David while he was at Hebron following the death of Saul. Absalom's mother was Maacah, the daughter of Talmai, king of Geshur (2Sam. 3:2-5).
2. Consider the description of Absalom in 2Samuel 14:25-26:
Now in all Israel was no one as handsome as Absalom, so highly praised; from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head there was no defect in him. When he cut the hair of his head (and it was at the end of every year that he cut it, for it was heavy on him so he cut it), he weighed the hair of his head at 200 shekels by the king's weight.
3. Despite his name, there is no peace in the Bible's records of Absalom's life.
B. In this lesson, we will consider the life of Absalom as well as some lessons we can learn from his story.
II. THE STORY OF ABSALOM
A. To understand Absalom's story, we must begin with David's sin of adultery.
1. In 2Samuel 11, David committed adultery with Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah the Hittite.
a. When Bathsheba conceived a child, David attempted to cover his sin, and eventually he arranged for Uriah to be killed in battle.
b. After Uriah's death, David took Bathsheba to be his wife.
2. In 2Samuel 12, the prophet David exposed David's evil deeds and pronounced his punishment.
a. David was forgiven by God, but the child born to Bathsheba was to die (vv. 13-14).
b. In verses 10-12, God said to David,
"Now therefore, the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised Me and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife…Behold, I will raise up evil against you from your own household; I will even take your wives before your eyes and give them to your companion, and he will lie with your wives in broad daylight. Indeed you did it secretly, but I will do this thing before all Israel, and under the sun.”
B. The evil in David's house began with the sin of his son Amnon against his daughter Tamar and the revenge taken by Absalom.
1. Amnon was the firstborn son of David (2Sam. 3:2-5).
2. Tamar was Amnon's half-sister and the full sister of Absalom. She was very beautiful, and Amnon "loved” (lusted after) her (2Sam. 13:1-2).
3. Through an evil plot, Amnon lured Tamar into his inner chamber and forced himself on her. Afterward, he hated her and sent her away (2Sam. 13:3-19).
4. Whereas David did nothing to punish Amnon, Absalom conspired to have Amnon murdered two years after he had sinned against Tamar (2Sam. 13:20-36).
5. After Amnon's murder, Absalom fled to the house of his maternal grandfather and stayed there for three years (2Sam. 13:37-39).
C. After Absalom fled from David, he returned and was restored only to turn against David in rebellion.
1. In 2Samuel 14:1-24, Joab, the captain of David's army, formed a plot and convinced David to bring Absalom back from exile. Absalom returned, but he was not allowed to see David (v. 24).
2. After two years in Jerusalem, Absalom demanded to see David, saying, "Now therefore, let me see the king's face, and if there is iniquity in me, let him put me to death” (2Sam. 14:32). David then called for him, and "the king kissed Absalom” (2Sam. 14:33).
3. In 2Samuel 15:1-6, Absalom began to intercept any Israelites who were coming to the king for judgments. He endeared himself to them, and "in this manner Absalom dealt with all Israel who came to the king for judgment; so Absalom stole away the hearts of the men of Israel” (v. 6).
4. In 2Samuel 15:7-12, Absalom went to Hebron and launched a conspiracy to make himself king in David's place. "And the conspiracy was strong, for the people increased continually with Absalom” (v. 12).
5. When David heard that "the hearts of the men of Israel are with Absalom,” he fled from Jerusalem with his servants and army (2Sam. 15:13-16:14).
6. In 2Samuel 16:15-23, Absalom came into Jerusalem and went in to his father's concubines in the sight of all Israel. This was in fulfillment of Nathan's prophecy in 2Samuel 12:11-12.
7. In 2Samuel 17, Absalom and his army pursued David across the Jordan River with the intention of killing his father (v. 12).
D. When the rebellion of Absalom was put down, David mourned bitterly over his son.
1. When David sent his army to meet Absalom and his army, he instructed them, saying, "Deal gently for my sake with the young man Absalom” (1Sam. 18:5).
2. As Israel was losing the battle to David's army, Absalom was caught in a tree when his mule went under its branches. When Joab heard of it, he thrust three spears into Absalom's heart. Absalom's body was then cast into a deep pit and covered with a heap of stones (2Sam. 18:6-18).
3. When David received the news of his own victory and Absalom's death, he said, "O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! Would I had died instead of you, O Absalom, my son, my son!” (2Sam. 18:33).
4. When Joab heard of David's reaction, he said to the king:
"Today you have covered with shame the faces of all your servants, who today have saved your life and the lives of your sons and daughters, the lives of your wives, and the lives of your concubines, by loving those who hate you, and by hating those who love you. For you have shown today that princes and servants are nothing to you; for I know this day that if Absalom were alive and all of us were dead today, then you would be pleased. Now therefore arise, go out and speak kindly to your servants, for I swear by the LORD, if you do not go out, surely not a man will pass the night with you, and this will be worse for you than all the evil that has come upon you from your youth until now.”
III. LESSONS FROM ABSALOM'S STORY
A. The consequences of sin are severe.
1. When David was tempted to adultery with Bathsheba, he surely did not anticipate the results. His sin led to this tragic story of death, rape, murder, and rebellion within his own household.
2. Amnon's sin of lust against Tamar led to her ruin, his murder, Absalom's guilt, and David's grief.
3. Absalom's sin of pride and rebellion led to his own death.
4. So many times, we see nothing but the momentary opportunity to indulge our lusts, and we plunge ourselves into sin without a thought of the consequences. Therefore, let us be thoughtful, "for not one of us lives for himself, and not one dies for himself” (Rom. 14:7).
B. Those who have an ungodly lust for preeminence will often do anything to make themselves first.
1. In 2Samuel 15:1-6, Absalom slandered his father, exalted himself, and used the Israelites to accomplish his selfish purpose. He then proceeded to launch a full-scale rebellion against his father and even sought to take his father's life.
2. Like and Absalom and Diotrephes (3John 9-10), many men today love to be first and commit many sinful deeds to exalt themselves.
3. Let us not be among those who sinfully seek preeminence, but instead let us remember the words of Jesus, who said, "But many who are first will be last; and the last, first” (Matt. 19:30). Consider also Proverbs 15:33; 16:18; 18:12; 22:4; Mark 10:42-45.
C. A man must discipline his children and manage his own household.
1. David was a great king in Israel, but he was a poor manager of his own family.
a. When Amnon sinned against Tamar, David did nothing. When Absalom murdered Amnon, David did nothing, but he continued to long for Absalom. When Absalom did everything he could to bring shame on David, David still sought to protect him. Concerning David's son Adonijah, the Scripture says that "his father had never crossed him at any time” (1Ki. 1:6).
b. Like Eli (1Sam. 2:12-17, 22-36; 3:13) and Samuel (1Sam. 8:1-3) before him, his leadership over God's people did not translate into leadership over his own children.
2. Like David, many fathers have deep affection for their children, but they fail to love them as they should. Consider these Proverbs:
a. Proverbs 13:24 – He who withholds his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently.
b. Proverbs 23:13-14 – Do not hold back discipline from the child, although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. You shall strike him with the rod and rescue his soul from Sheol.
3. Therefore, let us practice love toward our families in the likeness of the Father (Heb. 12:5-11).