I.        INTRODUCTION

A.      Proverbs 31:10 says, “An excellent wife, who can find?  For her worth is far above jewels.”

                                                             1.      This verse declares that it is difficult for a man to find an excellent wife because such a woman is worth so much.  Such women are quickly taken just as precious jewels are quickly mined from the ground.

                                                             2.      A man wants an excellent wife, for she “is the crown of her husband,” but if he finds a wife who shames him, she is “as rottenness in his bones” (Prov. 12:4)

                                                             3.      Excellent wives are rare indeed, for the remainder of this passage (Prov. 31:11-31) describes a loving, industrious, and godly woman who is rarely found in the world.

B.      However, for the man who does find an excellent wife, how blessed he is: “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD” (Prov. 18:22).

                                                             1.      In this lesson, we will consider God’s plan for wives as it has been from the beginning (Gen. 2:18-25).  A wife who lives by God’s plan will indeed be a very good thing for her husband, and she will bring him favor from God (“a prudent wife is from the LORD” – Prov. 19:14).

                                                             2.      As with husbands, it is necessary for a wife to understand God’s plan for her if she intends to be a part of “Building a God-Centered Home.”

II.      A GOD-CENTERED WIFE SUBMITS TO HER HUSBAND

A.      As we noticed in the previous lesson concerning husbands, Ephesians 5:22-33 says that wives are to be subject to their husbands.

                                                             1.      Like we noticed before, this passage is part of a context that tells one how to “walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called” (Eph. 4:1).  Therefore, a wife must submit to her husband as part of her service to the Lord.

                                                             2.      Notice that verse 24 says that a wife must be subject to her husband “in everything.”  Therefore, she must defer to her husband’s judgment in all things at all times.

B.      Subjection to a husband is difficult for some women to accept in our culture, so it is helpful to consider how subjection to a husband pertains to a wife’s relationship with God.

                                                             1.      Notice 1Peter 3:1 – “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands…”  To fully understand this, we need to consider the meaning of “in the same way.”

a.       Beginning in 1Peter 2:11, Peter discusses relationships that believers in Christ have with others (Gentiles, government authorities, masters, husbands and wives, brothers and sisters in Christ, etc.).

b.       Some of those relationships require submission, such as a Christian’s relationship to his government (1Pet. 2:13-17) and a Christian servant’s relationship to his master (1Pet. 2:18-20).

c.        Therefore, when Peter says, “In the same way…” in 1Peter 3:1, he is saying that a wife should submit to her husband in the same way one would submit to government or to a master.  What is this way?

i.         Christians submit to government because they recognize it as the ordinance of God (Rom. 13:2).

ii.        Likewise, Christian servants submitted to their masters because they regarded themselves as serving God (Eph. 6:7-8; Col. 3:22-25).

iii.      This is the way that submission should be practiced.  Whether to a government, a master, or a husband, submission is done in reverence to God, not to men.

                                                             2.      By regarding submission in this way, a Christian wife is able to be in submission even when she perceives flaws in her husband.  Consider the parallel situations:

a.       The government to which Peter required subjection was Rome, and it was by no means a respecter of God.  Nevertheless, Christians were required to submit to Rome.

b.       Some masters were “unreasonable” (1Pet. 2:18), but Christian servants were still required to subject themselves to those masters.

c.        Likewise, a believing wife is required to submit to a husband, even if he is disobedient to the word of God.  Peter addressed this situation directly in 1Peter 3:1-2.  A wife can do this because it is God whom she reveres regardless of her husband.  Also see Titus 2:5.

d.       Let it also be understood that Christians’ first allegiance is to God.  Therefore, if any government, master, or husband attempts to lead us into sin, we must take the attitude of Peter when he disobeyed his government authorities and said, “We must obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29).

III.   A GOD-CENTERED WIFE ADORNS HERSELF APPROPRIATELY

A.      God created women as beautiful and attractive to men, but a God-centered wife knows that her proper adornment is not accomplished through external things.  Consider 1Peter 3:3-4.

                                                             1.      The world is obsessed with physical appearance, youth, weight, and style.  However, these things can be a false façade for a person with a hollow heart.

a.       Proverbs 11:22 says, “As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion.”

b.       Consider the example of Samson, who demanded a wife from the Philistines, saying, “Get her for me, for she looks good to me” (Jud. 14:3).  The result was a disaster, and so it is also for many who judge themselves and others merely by appearances.

                                                             2.      God commends wives to adorn themselves through the “hidden person of the heart,” that is, through the spiritual qualities that come from within.

a.       A “gentle and quiet spirit” is said to be “precious in the sight of God.”  It is significant that this quality is considered precious, for this places it in a category with faith in Christ (1Pet. 1:7), the blood of Christ (1Pet. 1:19), and the Lord Christ Himself (1Pet. 2:4).

b.       This inner quality of a gentle and quiet spirit will manifest itself in outward ways.

i.         A similar passage in 1Timothy 2:9-10 tells all women to adorn themselves with good works.  These are the result of the “hidden person of the heart.”

ii.        Consider all the good works attributed to the excellent wife of Proverbs 31.  Those good works adorn her beautifully.

c.        The absence of a gentle and quiet spirit will also manifest itself outwardly with difficult consequences, especially for her husband.

i.         “It is better to live in a desert land than with a contentious and vexing woman.” (Prov. 21:19).

ii.        See also Proverbs 19:13; 21:9; 27:15-16.

                                                             3.      1Peter 3:3 is not a prohibition against wives wearing jewelry, braids, or dresses, but rather it is a declaration of the superiority of internal, spiritual adornment over external, superficial adornment.

a.       Immodest or indiscreet clothing are expressly forbidden (1Tim. 2:9), but a godly wife also seeks to please her husband in her appearance (Song 4:1-15; 6:4-7:9).

b.       Notice that the excellent wife of Proverbs 31 had clothing of “fine linen and purple” (v. 22), but verse 25 also says that “strength and dignity are her clothing.”

B.      A properly adorned wife is a wonderful asset to a God-centered home, for she can accomplish great things.

                                                             1.      The good works that are attributed to the excellent wife in Proverbs 31 are almost all related to the building and maintaining of her own home: “She looks well to the ways of her household” (v. 27).

                                                             2.      Proverbs 14:1 says, “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.”  A God-centered wife is a wise woman, and her home prospers because of her.

                                                             3.      Notice that a God-centered wife may even win her disobedient husband without a word of instruction, exhortation, or argument (1Pet. 3:1-2).  Although she is in subjection to him, she may save him by the power of a persuasive example, her “chaste and respectful behavior.”

C.      Godliness in wives is a fashion that never goes out of style (1Pet. 3:5-6).

                                                             1.      Time has shown the wisdom of holy women adorning themselves in godliness.  Regardless of culture or era, godly adornment is always becoming of godly women.

                                                             2.      Peter said that a gentle and quiet spirit was an “imperishable” quality (1Pet. 3:4).  This means that, unlike beauty and youthful appearance, it does not fade with age.

                                                             3.      Consider the example that is given of Sarah.

a.       She must have been a woman of tremendous beauty, for at the age of sixty-five, Pharaoh wanted her for his wife, and when she was over ninety years old, Abimelech wanted her.

b.       Yet Sarah’s true beauty is remembered here in 1Peter 3, for she showed her devotion to God by her submissive spirit toward her husband.

c.        Christian women can become daughters of Sarah by adorning themselves as she did.  They will join the ranks of “holy women” which transcend time.

D.      Therefore, let wives strive to put on the “imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit,” and let husbands learn to regard this quality in their wives as precious, just as God does.