Some memories can be painful. In fact, they can be almost as painful and
debilitating as physical injuries and diseases if you allow them to be. Memories of past sins can cause guilt, shame,
grief, and regret that can hold you like a prisoner. Other memories of tragedies or
disappointments can cause fear, anxiety, anger, resentment, and bitterness that
lay a heavy burden on you and prevent you from moving forward. How can you overcome such painful
memories? The events of such memories
are nearly impossible to forget, but is there a way to deal with the past
without forgetting it? Thankfully, God
has provided ways to handle these memories and the consequences of the past
through our Lord Jesus Christ.
First and foremost, if you have
unforgiven sins that are the source of your shame and grief, then seek God's
forgiveness immediately. Count your
blessings, for your tender conscience is giving you godly sorrow, and that will
lead you to repentance and salvation (2Cor. 7:10). If you have never obeyed the gospel of Christ
through faith, repentance, confession, and baptism, then do so now, and the
burden of guilt will be removed from you by God's forgiveness (Mark 16:16; Acts
2:38; Rom. 10:8-10). If you are already
a Christian, then repent of your sins and confess them to God, for He is
faithful and just to forgive you (1John 1:9).
If you are still burdened with shame due
to sins already forgiven, then you need to strengthen your faith in Jesus. Consider again what it means to be
forgiven. God has said, "For I will be
merciful to their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more" (Heb.
8:12). It is Jesus who made this
forgiveness possible by dying on the cross (see Isa. 53). If God has forgiven and forgotten your sins,
then why are you still holding on to them?
Why don't you believe that Christ's sacrifice was more than sufficient
to take your guilt away? Understand that
salvation is not a matter of you being good enough to be forgiven, but rather
it is a matter of believing that Christ is good enough to forgive you. Trust the Lord and let Him take your burden
(Matt. 11:28-30).
Of course, a sense of unworthiness and
humility is commendable, but you need to direct that sense into the right
channels. God does not intend for
forgiven sinners to be mired in shame and guilt, but rather He would have you
to be thankful and overflowing with joy.
Consider the apostle Paul, who had been a persecutor of the church. He did not forget his past sins, but instead
he was thankful that the Lord considered him faithful and put him into His
service as an example to others who would turn from sin to the Lord (1Tim.
1:12-16). He said, "Forgetting what lies
behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for
the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 3:13-14). In Paul's likeness, you also need to leave
the past behind and gratefully press on in the service of Christ, for "you were
washed...you were sanctified...you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus
Christ and in the Spirit of our God" (1Cor. 6:11).
If
you have painful memories due to tragedies or disappointments of the past, then
you need to focus your mind on heavenly things and the glorious promises of
God. Consider Colossians 3:1-4:
Therefore if you have
been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is,
seated at the right hand of God. Set
your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden
with Christ in God. When Christ, who is
our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory.
Notice
that again: "Christ is our life." Your
life is not about the painful events of the past, but your life now is all
about Jesus (Phil. 1:21). You cannot
change the past, but you can change what you think about it today. It is not the past that disturbs you, but it
is what you think about the past. Stop
obsessing over it, and give your mind fully to Christ. To this point, no better advice could be
given than that of Philippians 4:6-8:
Be anxious for
nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let
your requests be made known to God. And
the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and
your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally,
brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever
is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any
excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.
Furthermore, do not allow your mind to turn
even the pleasant events of the past into painful memories. When you long to go back to the "good old
days," you cause yourself unnecessary pain in the present. The Scripture says, "Do not say, 'Why is it
that the former days were better than these?' For it is not from wisdom that you ask about
this" (Eccl. 7:10). You cannot go back
to the past, but you can count your blessings from both the past and present. Don't allow yourself to be troubled because of
the good things from former days.
Dealing with painful memories is really
a matter of knowing and trusting Jesus, "who is able to do far more abundantly
beyond all that we ask or think according to the power that works within us"
(Eph. 3:20). God "Himself has said, 'I
will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you,' so that we confidently
say, 'The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What will man do to me?'" (Heb. 13:5-6). Therefore, leave the pain of the past behind
and trust the Lord today.
