I.        INTRODUCTION

A.      The Book of Proverbs demonstrates that a father is vital in the raising of children, for many of the proverbs are presented as wise sayings to be given from a father to his child.

                                                             1.      For example, consider a sample of Proverbs 4:

a.       “Hear, O sons, the instruction of a father, and give attention that you may gain understanding, for I give you sound teaching; do not abandon my instruction.” (vv. 1-2)

b.       “When I was a son to my father, tender and the only son in the sight of my mother, then he taught me and said to me, ‘Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments and live.’” (vv. 3-4)

                                                             2.      Notice how this wisdom is to be passed from generation to generation, from father to son to grandson.  Certainly, God has intended for fathers to be integral in the lives of their children.

B.      In this lesson of our series “Building a God-Centered Home,” we will examine the God-given place of a father in the home.

                                                             1.      In a time when fathers are often absent from the home, and those who are present are often failing to carry out their responsibilities, this lesson is desperately needed.

                                                             2.      The importance of a father’s place in the home is made evident when we realize that a father in the home is a symbol of God Himself, who is our heavenly Father.

II.      WHO IS A FATHER?

A.      Fatherhood requires more than a mere biological relationship.

                                                             1.      In the original language of the New Testament, the word for father is pater, and it means “a nourisher, protector, and upholder.”

a.       The typical use of this word in the Bible is for a biological ancestor.

b.       However, it is useful to our understanding to notice that the original definition of pater says nothing of a biological relationship, but rather it describes the nature of a man’s relationship and responsibility toward a child.

                                                             2.      Therefore, the qualification for fatherhood is not simply the ability to conceive a child.

a.       A man who would be a father must be willing and able to take on the roles of nourisher, protector, and upholder.

b.       This means that a man must provide a home in which a child will be nourished, protected, and upheld in order for him to be a father.

i.         For example, Job said, “I became a father to the needy” (Job 29:16; see also 31:16-23).  By this, he indicated his father-like provision of nourishment and protection for those in need.

ii.        A man who would be a father must likewise provide for his child and thus make himself a father by his actions toward his child.

B.      A true father is a man who takes responsibility for raising a child.

                                                             1.      A biological father naturally has this responsibility for his child, for God requires him to care for his own family (1Tim. 5:8; see Section III).

                                                             2.      Some men assume the role of fathers for children who are not their own.  Their fatherhood is not diminished due to the lack of biological relationships.

a.       Consider the example of Joseph, who was a father to Jesus in every way even though Joseph did not conceive Jesus (Matt. 13:55; Mark 6:3; Luke 2:33, 39-52; John 6:42).

b.       Many men have provided homes for orphaned children and have thus made themselves fathers.  (Note: “Orphan” (Gr. orphanos) means “fatherless.”  In the O.T., children without parents and children of widows were considered orphans.)

III.   A FATHER’S RESPONSIBILITIES IN THE HOME

A.      By definition, a father is to characterize his family and thus his home.

                                                             1.      The word most often translated as “family” in the New Testament is the Greek word patria, which is derived from pater, the word we noticed above for “father.”

a.       Consider Ephesians 3:14-15 – “For this reason, I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name…”  Notice the play on the words “Father” (pater), in reference to God, and “family” (patria) in this passage.

b.       The similarity of these words indicates the intimacy and integrity of the relationship of a father to his family.

                                                             2.      Therefore, a family is to be an extension of a father.

a.       This is true for the whole family, including the children and their mother.  They are all under his care and authority.

b.       Although every family does not fit this mold, God’s original, ideal design for the family would have the family to derive its character from a godly father.

B.      As the person who will characterize his family, a father has many responsibilities.

                                                             1.      A father is to be a godly leader in his home.

a.       As the authority in the home, a father has the natural burden of leadership for his family.

i.         He must lead his home foremost by his own exemplary words and deeds.

ii.        He must establish the godly goals for his home and see to it that they are achieved by all who are under his authority.

iii.      He must also determine to rid his home of anything contrary to the purpose of a God-centered home.

iv.      One of the best things a father can do for his children is to be a godly husband to their mother (see Lesson 5).

b.       Notice Proverbs 20:7 – “A righteous man who walks in his integrity – how blessed are his sons after him.”

                                                             2.      A father is to be a godly teacher and trainer of his children in his home.

a.       Ephesians 6:4 says, “And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

i.         Notice that this responsibility is explicitly assigned to fathers rather than the common, modern practice of assigning the responsibility to mothers.

ii.        The phrase “bring them up” in the NASB means to “nourish them.”  In other words, a father is to feed his children’s souls on the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

iii.      Discipline means that a father is to give physical direction or correction to his children, and instruction means that he gives them verbal direction.  These two methods will give a child the complete spiritual nourishment required.

iv.      Fathers are to discipline and instruct their children with a compassionate hand that will not provoke anger in the child (see Psa. 103:13).

b.       Hebrews 12:5-11 shows how a father’s discipline is necessary to train children.

i.         By comparing fathers on earth with the Father in heaven, we see that a father disciplines his children because he loves them (see Prov. 3:12; 13:24).

ii.        Without discipline from a father, it is as if a child has no father (see Heb. 12:8).

iii.      A child who is trained by discipline “yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness” (Heb. 12:11), which should be a father’s goal for his child.

c.        The responsibility for teaching the word of God to children fell to the fathers in Israel (Deut. 6:4-9), and it likewise falls to fathers today.

                                                             3.      A father is to be a provider for his home.

a.       Not only is a father to provide spiritual nourishment to his children through the discipline and instruction of the Lord, but he is also to provide for their physical needs (food, clothing, shelter, safety, protection, etc.).

b.       1Timothy 5:8 says, “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

i.         This passage along with others (Prov. 6:6-11; 24:30-34; 2Thess. 3:6-15) shows the depth of God’s contempt for those who will not work and provide for their own.

ii.        This fundamental premise of God’s world is too often forgotten by worthless men who abandon their children to mothers without support.

C.      Execution of these responsibilities by a father is crucial to a child both physically and spiritually.

                                                             1.      Obviously, a child needs a father’s physical sustenance to live and grow as he should.

                                                             2.      Let us also realize that the relationship between a father and his child is a model for the child of the child’s future relationship with God.

a.       By representing authority and providence, the father represents to his young child a figure of God Himself, our heavenly Father.

b.       What more needs to be said for how important a father is to his child?