I.        INTRODUCTION

A.      To the church at Corinth, the apostle Paul wrote, “But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I” (1Cor. 7:8).

                                                             1.      In this, Paul was referring to the fact that he was unmarried himself.

                                                             2.      It may surprise some that Paul stated that it was good to remain unmarried, but there are convincing reasons for this statement, which will be noticed in this lesson.

B.      Therefore, it is good for us to consider the home life of the unmarried and widows as we continue this series on “Building a God-Centered Home.”

                                                             1.      This series has devoted considerable effort to the place of marriage, the role of husbands, and the role of wives in the home, but many homes exist without the presence of marriage.

                                                             2.      These homes can be centered upon God just as much as married homes, and, according to the Scriptures, even more so.

II.      UNDISTRACTED DEVOTION

A.      The verse that is quoted above is from a chapter in which Paul responded to questions concerning marriage posed to him by the church at Corinth (1Cor. 7:1ff).

                                                             1.      We do not know exactly the questions that were asked, but by Paul’s response we may surmise that he was asked whether single believers should marry (vv. 1-9, 25-40) and whether married believers should divorce from unbelieving spouses (vv. 10-24).

                                                             2.      In his response, Paul essentially said that it is better not to marry, but if single believers or believing widows marry, they have not sinned.  He also says that a husband or a wife should not divorce (separate, depart) from one another even if one is an unbeliever.

                                                             3.      Much of Paul’s response is qualified by an undisclosed “present distress” (v. 26), but there are principles taught here that apply at all times.

B.      Paul’s answers and other teachings by the Lord show that those who are not bound to a spouse have a greater opportunity to serve the Lord because of their freedom.

                                                             1.      Notice that Paul says in reference to married believers, “Yet such will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you” (1Cor. 7:28).  He explains his meaning further in verses 29-35.

a.       Paul shows how marriage adds burdens and divides interests between the things of the Lord and the things of the world (vv. 32-34).

b.       The worldly concerns of marriage are not sinful, but they require time and effort that a person may have otherwise used for the Lord’s work.

c.        Therefore, Paul wrote, “And this I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is seemly, and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord” (1Cor. 7:35).

                                                             2.      Also, notice the Lord’s teachings in Matthew 19:10-12.

a.       In verses 3-9, Jesus had returned to the original teachings about marriage and exposed the error of the Jews’ practice of divorce.

b.       Sensing the difficulties in applying the Lord’s teachings (which men still struggle to apply today), the disciples said, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry” (v. 10).

c.        Jesus acknowledged that this will be difficult for some men to accept (v. 11), but then He taught that some do abstain from marriage for spiritual reasons (v. 12).

i.         Some are eunuchs because of physical limitations.

ii.        However, “there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.”  Such persons have devoted themselves completely to God and have kept themselves from the distractions of marriage.

C.      Therefore, because the unmarried and widows are spared from the troubles of marriage, they may devote their homes fully to the Lord’s service.

                                                             1.      For an unmarried Christian or a believing widow who lives alone, it is important to dedicate himself or herself to God in the home.

a.       Living alone does not mean that one should live only for oneself.  Christians living alone should center their homes upon God just as any other Christians should.  The declaration, “As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD” (Josh. 24:15), still applies.

b.       Just because a Christian lives alone does not mean that the home is not important.  Even if no other man, woman, or child lives in the home, God is there.  The Lord said, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our abode with him” (John 14:23).

                                                             2.      For unmarried Christians and believing widows who live with their families or some other godly home arrangement, they must do their part in making God-centered homes.

a.       A God-centered home is a place of worship, learning, and love.  The unmarried and widows can do much to promote these activities in any home in which they live.

b.       It is not possible in this lesson to address all of the possible living arrangements for the unmarried and widows, but the formula that was presented in Lesson 3 should be followed for each person:  commit yourself to God through Christ, love the others living in your home, understand your role in your home, use your influence for good, and grow.

III.   SPECIAL INSTRUCTIONS

A.      For young, unmarried men, let us consider the instructions of 1Timothy 4:12 and Titus 2:6-8.

                                                             1.      These instructions are for young men but not necessarily unmarried men.  Nevertheless, unmarried men must be certain to apply these directions to themselves and to understand that they are not exempt from having a God-centered home just because they are unmarried.

                                                             2.      The emphasis of both passages is for young men to be examples of faithfulness to others within the church and without.

a.       The tendency of young, unmarried men is to be careless and unserious.  Young, unmarried believers must be diligent to combat this tendency (see 2Tim. 2:15).

b.       An unmarried man must set his home to promote his own faithfulness.  In his home, he must pray and prepare himself so that he may be a good example in “speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity” (1Tim. 4:12).

B.      Similarly, unmarried women should carefully consider the instructions of 1Timothy 2:9-15.

                                                             1.      This passage is similar to 1Peter 3:1-6, which gives instructions for married women.  However, these instructions are for all women, both married and unmarried.

                                                             2.      Therefore, unmarried women should behave themselves similarly as the married women we considered in Lesson 6, and their homes should promote this behavior.

a.       As we noted in the previous lesson, a believing woman’s godly disposition is not due to reverence toward men but reverence toward God.

b.       Therefore, an unmarried, believing woman should adorn herself in modest clothing, but even more so in good works.  She may prepare herself and do many of these good works in her own home.

C.      For widows, notice 1Timothy 5:3-16.

                                                             1.      This passage gives directions regarding the church assisting a widow in need.  However, we may also learn here some of the works of a godly widow.

                                                             2.      Some of the characteristics of a godly widow’s home are that it is a place of hope in God (v. 5), constant entreaties and prayers (v. 5), good works (v. 10), and hospitality (v. 10), and it is not a place of sin (vv. 6, 13).

D.      For all who are unmarried or widowed, consider the following advice.

                                                             1.      It is not good to be alone.

a.       God did not create man to be a creature of solitude.  Remember that He said, “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Gen. 2:18).

b.       Even though Paul said that it is good for Christians to remain unmarried, he did not say that it was good to be alone.  Paul’s life was dedicated to serving God by serving God’s people.  He had almost constant companionship from other Christians, and so should unmarried Christians today.

                                                             2.      It is better to marry than to burn.

a.       This is the advice of Paul in 1Corinthians 7:9, and it means that it is better to marry than to burn with passion or lust.

b.       For this reason, Paul instructed younger widows to remarry in 1Timothy 5:11-12, 14-15.

c.        Paul also told Timothy to “flee from youthful lusts” (2Tim. 2:22).  One means of doing this is by marriage (1Cor. 7:1-6).

d.       Although the unmarried and widows can completely devote their homes to God, if they are overtaken by lust and sin, their lack of a spouse has become a spiritual hindrance and a stumbling block to them.  Therefore, it is better to marry than to burn.