I.        INTRODUCTION

A.      Our society presents a confusing image of the role for the husband in the home.

                                                             1.      Feminists portray the husband as a selfish tyrant who oppresses his wife.

                                                             2.      Television programs and movies present the husband as a fool who would be hopelessly lost without the guidance of his wife.

                                                             3.      Modern psychologists teach that a husband needs to be more feminine and that traditional roles in the home need to be abolished in favor of androgynous (gender-free) equality.

B.      However, God’s word clearly communicates God’s design and expectations for the husband in the home.

                                                             1.      As we continue the series “Building a God-Centered Home,” we will now examine God’s plan for husbands as it is revealed in the Bible.

                                                             2.      Understanding God’s plan for husbands is crucial, for the home of married people has the greatest opportunity for success with a God-centered husband.

II.      A GOD-CENTERED HUSBAND IS THE HEAD OF HIS WIFE

A.      Ephesians 5:22-33 is the classic text of the New Testament that reveals God’s plan for husbands.

                                                             1.      This passage is in a context in which Paul gives directions whereby one may “walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called” (Eph. 4:1).

                                                             2.      Being a godly husband is an important part of a married man’s response to God’s call of mercy and love.  A believer’s relationship with his wife must be conducted in a manner worthy of the Lord’s calling.  Remember, marriage is a covenant before God (Mal. 2:14).

B.      The first direction given in this text is for the wife to be subject to her husband (Eph. 5:22), but the reason for this direction is that God has made the husband head of the wife (Eph. 5:23).

                                                             1.      The figure of the head indicates that the husband is to have authority over the wife.

a.       This is the same figure that is used to explain the relationship of Christ to the church (Eph. 1:22-23).  Just as the church is subject to Christ in everything, so also wives must be subject to their husbands in everything (Eph. 5:24).

b.       In 1Timothy 2:12-14, Paul explains that this divine order traces all the way back to Adam and Eve, for Adam was created first, and Eve was deceived and fell into transgression.

                                                             2.      By virtue of being appointed head of his wife, a husband has certain burdens laid upon him that he must bear well.

a.       A husband must take responsibility for his marriage.

i.         Because a husband has authority, he is responsible for himself and his wife.  His authority is not given to him for his own pleasure, but rather he is a steward over his wife who is accountable to God.

ii.        Notice the example of Christ in Ephesians 5:26-27.  The Lord was responsible for helping His bride, the church, become the very best she could be.  He does not serve Himself, but He uses his authority for the benefit of the church.  Husbands must imitate this same pattern.

b.       A husband must exercise leadership.

i.         It is incumbent upon a husband to make decisions for his home in accordance with God’s will and then see to it that his home fulfills those decisions.

ii.        Consider the failure of Adam to lead Eve (Gen. 3:6-7).  Notice that Adam failed when he allowed Eve to lead him (“you have listened to the voice of your wife” – Gen. 3:17) instead of leading her to listen to the voice of God.

C.      As head of his wife, a husband must love his wife, for she is an inseparable part of him.

                                                             1.      The first instruction given directly to husbands in Ephesians 5:22-33 is, “Husbands love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (v. 25).

a.       Again, the image of Christ and the church is invoked, and the immeasurable love of Christ for the church is very high standard for husbands to attain regarding their wives.

b.       A husband’s love for his wife must imitate Christ’s love for the church, which is selfless and self-sacrificing.  Christ gave Himself up for the church, and a husband must be willing to do the same for his wife.

                                                             2.      This instruction for a husband to love his wife is repeated in Ephesians 5:28, but this time the figure of the body is used to demonstrate love.

a.       The message is that the husband and the wife are one in the same, for the Scripture says that “the two shall become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24; Eph. 5:31).  Therefore, a man ought to love his wife as he loves himself.

b.       There are two treatments that a man gives to his own body that he must also give to his wife.

i.         A husband must nourish his wife.  This means that he must give her sustenance for the body, mind, and spirit.  “Nourish” is translated from the same word that is found in Ephesians 6:4, where fathers are told to “bring up” or “nurture” their children.  In this, a man has a similar responsibility to his wife and his children.

ii.        A husband must also cherish his wife.  This indicates that he is to give her warm and tender care.  The word “cherish” is translated from the same word that appears in 1Thessalonians 2:7 in regards to a nursing mother’s gentle care for her children.  A man must have this quality of love for his wife.

c.        “No one ever hated his own flesh” (Eph. 5:29), and no man should ever despise his wife.

i.         Colossians 3:19 says, “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be embittered against them.”

ii.        A husband’s love of his wife qualifies the use of his authority over her.  No one despises or abuses his own body, and neither should a husband mistreat his wife.

III.   A GOD-CENTERED HUSBAND UNDERSTANDS MARRIED LIFE

A.      In 1Peter 3:7, husbands are directed to “live with your wives in an understanding way.”

                                                             1.      This commends the manner of life that a husband is to live in the presence of his wife.  It is implied that the man will have to change his life to accommodate his wife.  He cannot live as he did before he was married.

                                                             2.      The American Standard Version translates this as “dwell with your wives according to knowledge.”  Therefore, husbands are to apply the knowledge that they have of women and their wives to affect the way they conduct themselves.

B.      Therefore, husbands need to be understanding of their wives.

                                                             1.      A husband needs to understand that his wife is different than he is in mind and body.  Therefore, her needs are different than his, and as her loving head, he must nourish and cherish her accordingly.

                                                             2.      A husband must regard his wife as a “weaker vessel” (1Pet. 3:7).

a.       Some women have taken offense at the figure of a weaker vessel, but this opinion fails to understand the meaning of this figure.

i.         Vessels are jars, pitchers, or other containers.  Different vessels have different purposes, some of which are more honorable than others (2Tim. 2:20).

ii.        A woman is like a vessel deserving of greater honor.  For example, a crystal vase is more precious than a gas can even though the vase is a weaker vessel.

iii.      The ASV renders this part of 1Peter 3:7 as “giving honor unto the woman, as unto the weaker vessel.”  This passage is by no means degrading toward women, for it states that wives should be honored for their differences from men.

b.       A husband must understand that as a weaker vessel his wife is made for a different purpose and has different functions than he.

                                                             3.      A husband must also understand that even though he has authority over his wife and she is a weaker vessel, she is still his equal in the kingdom of God.

a.       A man’s wife is his “fellow heir of the grace of life” (1Pet. 3:7).  She has the same relationship with the Father as he has if they are both in the Lord.

b.       In spiritual terms, all distinctions that exist in this world are erased through Christ (Gal. 3:28).

C.      Every husband should consider himself and his marriage carefully to see if he understands married life.

                                                             1.      Has he obtained the knowledge available to him through the word of God about marriage, his wife, and his place as a husband?

                                                             2.      If he has the knowledge, is he living with his wife according to that knowledge, or is he defying that knowledge in an attempt to live life in his own way?

                                                             3.      The answers to these questions reflect not only a husband’s attitude toward his wife, but also his attitude toward God.